1. Worry that it's never good enough.
2. Put off doing anything because you don't know where to start.
3. Aspire to have a home just like the ones you see in the magazines.
4. Tell yourself you don't deserve it.
5. Assume you can't have anything pretty because you have kids and not much money.
6. Study up on all of those rules that the real designers tell you not to break.
7. Sulk because you are a renter.
8. Complain because your husband won't do anything in the house.
9. Be afraid.
10....what am I forgetting?
143 comments:
Living with things you don't love. The stuff? Peace-robbers.
Right on. I totally agree... btw, where did you get your crystals to go on your chandelier? That would be the perfect addition to mine...
I would say that not knowing your own likes and dislikes would help keep you from having a home you love. Your style is not really my style, and I shouldn't feel like I have to apologize for that.
Think that every room has to be done at once.
(Rome wasn't built in a day, ya know.)
Karol :0)
So apparently I am doing all the right things to "avoid having a home I'll love!" Great list to read over and over - and the post's timing is perfect for me, too! Thank you!!
#8..is a great one! My husband just has such a crazy job that some home "stuff" has to wait. So early in our marriage...I decided that I would learn how to use that "scary" drill, loud hammer etc.....Who says a lady doesn't look "Fine" with a tool belt on???wink!
I say "don't wait" do it yourself...you may be surprise how good you are at hanging, painting!
-sandy toe
My crippler?
My vision. I had a dream in my head that I was not able to realize right now. I needed to MOVE ON!!!!!!
Wanting to do it now...and not having the $$ to complete it! IT sits there halfway done looking tacky until you find some extra money to complete the task!
Hugs,
Susan
10. Let your mother-in-law convince you that only the "normal" way of doing things is the right way to do them. Sometimes being unorthodox is what gets the biggest bang for the buck!
10. Give up because you tried once and it didn't work out the way you intended. Some things take practice and it's O.K. to make mistakes!
Don't be afraid of paint! My living room is terra-cotta, and my kitchen is (almost) dijon mustard yellow.
My sister-in-law says she would never dare use colors like that.
Why not? It's just paint - it's cheap, and if you decide it's awful you can paint over it.
Worrying about what your friends with more money than you think about your house. I have an issue with that. So... I write a blog about all the stuff I buy at Goodwill. Probably not helping, huh?
Love, love, love the door and "abide."
Do nothing. I agree we ladies can do more than we think, and yes paint is cheap and you can always repaint, so do something and you'll give yourself a lift. Hugs,Marty
Great list! Currently we're renters after owning a home. It took me awhile to get over the idea that I couldn't make this house a home just because we are renting! I've since gotten over this idea and painted our furniture{I'm a lover of paint!}, added window treatments, and accessorized and decorated this house until its become a place that my family can call our own personal space :-)
Oh, um...I have/do about 8 out of ten....and it is absolutely horrible miserable! And you are right, I don't know where to start or have a clue what to do and the tears roll everytime I come home after being at a "pretty" house
That pretty much sums it up for me. Thanks for the good reminder!! (as my den is completely trashed right now with cars and trains and Pooh bears.)
Hold on to CLUTTER.
AMEN sista!
Not following that gut feeling that says, "buy these chairs" (or whatever) that are a great deal at the thrift store b/c you aren't exactly sure how to use them. Don't second guess yourself or your feelings.
Regretting not buying these cute little chairs I saw for my daughters room two months ago - b/c she didn't have a cute little table to go with it. Well, guess what I found at the Goodwill for $6.00 (and rehab-ed beautifully - not perfectly - but beautifully!) yesterday????
I would say being afraid of what "others" would think of you if you asked for help....
If you don't know where to start, sometimes you just have to ASK!
(and yes, this and all the other 9 are problems I have!)
I totally love #5.
I'd also add not doing anything because you don't think you are "talented" enough to do it.
Ten for me would be holding onto clutter or being afraid to use color in your room.
I would never take decorating advice from my mother in law, I'm not sure trailer park is actually a style, but I could be wrong.
Another one: think that you have to buy everything brand new at top dollar from department or furniture stores.
I think my rule to avoiding having a home you'll love is not DE-CLUTTERING. If you don't use it in a year you won't use and someone else might use it so get rid of it. I love de-cluttering!!! I feel so good after it is done. And I love all the other rules...So perfect to live by!!
Along with never thinking your house is good enough, there's never inviting anyone over to your house because you don't think it's good enough.
I agree with others regarding Dear Mother-in-Law! I listened to her...and now I regret some MAJOR items on our house...stuff that can't be changed without LOTS of $$$. I should have listened to my own wants and desires. BUT my MIL is very LOUD. ugh
Thanks for the list-I'm guilty of quite a few of them. Thanks for giving me something to think about and for all the great ideas on your blog.
I agree!! Great post! I just found your blog and I love reading it everyday.
I have to say in the past (before I 'met' you), I probably used every one of those excuses. So glad I found you. BTW, It's almost our one year anniversary. I'm only kidding, don't get all creaped out. :)
Love the blue door and the chalkboard. Do the ideas ever stop??
Preach it girl!! Most of us don't have unlimited budgets to work with so we all have to make do with what we have. All it takes is some creativity.
I think you've put down everything I've thought of over the years. I think for me it's the fear that it won't look right.
Thanks - this was inspiring! I love that "Abide" sign on the wall!! I have a thing for words. If I could just plaster words all over every wall in my house I would be thrilled! :)
Good post, girl. You nailed it. I hope I get to see you soon by the way!
#7 is so, so, so important for me to remember. My husband is a student, and we're not staying in our current town after he graduates next year. I have definitely fallen at times into the trap of sulking because it's a "temporary" location or "not really ours" because we're renting. What in this life isn't temporary?! We don't know how long we'll be here (in this rented apartment or in this world altogether) -- how dare I let dissatisfaction creep in and rob me of joy.
Thanks so much for this reminder.
Tell it like it is GIRL! Love your place for all it's worth...
~Misti
Have you checked out my latest Knob post? AKA sknobs... funny little knobs.
~Misti
Very good advice. Some of the coolest things I've done in my house have totally happened by accident-trying to get that "perfect" look.
Spot on. I could relate to *cough* a few of those. :D
It was Flylady who introduced me to the idea that my attitude could change SO much. And it is so true! This list is great and we ladies should always remember it!
In our line of work we get free rent. The apartment sizes range from 600-2000 square feet.
I used to think I couldn't create a warm and inviting home but now I know different.
I truly enjoy visiting your blog. It's so full of inspiration and motivation.
Thank you, I needed to be reminded of those things! I always feel like I don't know where to start and that my stuff isn't up to par.
How to Avoid Having a Home You'll Love?
GIVE UP. That is the fastest way to spend every day in a home that you detest and is not a reflection of who you are, but is an empty shell of things that you have accumulated.
I have learned to never give up! I am using your advice, as well as the advice of all the other wonderful bloggers to create a home that I will adore. After all, if home is my favorite place to be, it should be beautiful!
Mine would be similar to the declutter issue... it is getting emotionally attached to items you don't actually like the look of (that you can't really change) I still have an ugly ceramic bell with doves sitting on top of it given to us by my husbands grandparents. I can't decide what to do with it. I would FEEL awful getting rid of it, but at the same time, I hate looking at it. Blah!
Avoid having the home you'll love if you HAVE A CRAPPY MARRIAGE!
I could live in a hut, with nothing, but still be happy because my husband ROCKS!
A home is all about LOVE!
Great post Nester! You're the best!
Telling yourself it can always be a little bit better therefore not enjoying the beauty you do have right now. I am so guilty of this. No matter how good something looks or how many compliments I get, I always wonder what I can do to make it better or more magazine-ish. It's so unrealistic and deflating. Thanks for the reminder to appreciate what we have and to be grateful for the beauty in our homes no matter our circumstances.
-Kari
I once had a friend who didn't really decorate her house, because her mom always kept a beautifully decorated home and she had passed away. So I might say not getting over the death of a loved one. Though I must say, I don't think thats a good enough reason.
Elise
I might say personally...I have so many different styles I love and things I am afraid I might not like after a while so I don't do anything. How crazy is that?? I can't predict when I won't like chocolate brown, but in the meantime, why don't I just enjoy having that chocolate dining room and change when I tire of it??
Love your list!
How about: Follow every trend!
Let clutter take over
Let yourself think you don't deserve it.
Compare your house to ANYONE elses, even when you say "mine is better than...."
...I have to admit I am still working through all the linkies from the party. Wow, alot of readers and alot of makeovers, now to decide out of all those which new blogs to FOLLOW....There is only one of me! Wonder if I can quit working and just read blogs? hmmmmmmmm...
Great list...I would only add: "I lack the creative gene." LOL
Guess that's what you're here for, right?
Put off doing the "decorating" stuff until you have dutifully done all the things that "need" to be done first.
Cause waiting on that laundry to be all done....well, it's never gonna happen.
Refuse to be creative with items you get for free or very cheap.
Decide that you are too tired or busy.
Convince yourself that no one will appreciate it anyway, so why do the work.
Awww, I love this post. I think that I'm so easy going and anti-perfection and then I stress...and stress...about the silliest things in my house.
I'm updating my master bath right now (mostly with smoke and mirrors...meaning paint and very little $) and I almost didn't work on it over the weekend because I felt like it wasn't good enough, "Maybe I should change the paint color. Does it look too much like the kitchen? Oh, it's not original enough...". SLAP ME!
Oh, I'm also guilty of feeling like I can't invite people over to our house until it's "done". "I don't have enough seating. My tv isn't as big as there's. It's not clean enough and organized enough.", etc. etc. Again, SLAP ME!!
Thank you. This has been very therapeutic :).
Just do it! a home should be your favorite place to be! i need to get better at power tools cause hubby is too busy! but look out when I do no turning back! fun post to read.
LuLu
I'm guilty of #2 quite often, because in my mind, if I can't get it done right, then I'm just not going to do it. LOL
I'd say don't compare your home to your friends', neighbors', etc. I live in military housing, so I have a hard time when I go into a friend's home who has the "same house" as me. I always think somebody else has done it better, made it homier (homey-er?) than me.
I like number three..sometimes I tell myself the magazine editor is not coming...nor is the camera crew..Joy, just do what you LOVE and makes you happy when you look around.
You left out a big one that I hear all the time: "Why should I do anything...we plan on moving in a few years." Of course with the big (expensive) stuff you need to think about resale, but what about the rest?
AMEN!!!
and 10. Not using your beautiful things because you have kids. (when will they learn to appreciate beauty & act with care & respect if we don't teach them at home?)
Telling yourself it is never going to be big enough!
Thank you so much for posting this! It is so true! Because we have 5 boys and never enough money for decor I haven't done anything much to our house except basics until the past year! I am just starting to find my niche with what I like and what makes me feel good but in the process it is necessary to know these tips! I often felt bad about not having a well pulled together house but people that visit comment that they love my decorating. Hmm, I guess it is time to admit we are often our toughest judges! :)
Ouch. I am convicted of #2 & #9!
You are so right! Thanks for the nudge :)
Awesome! So simply put! I'm going to send my readers your way to check out this post! Thanks for the reality check! :)
~Karla
10). Thinking you don't have style, EVERYONE has their own style, hints of it are already in your home, maybe a pillow that you REALLY love, your dishes, the color of your tooth brush! It's there, now grab hold of it with both hands and RUN with it!!
#10 is to be lazy and a procratinator! So so me. For my birthday, my mom gave me a tool belt and a book for women to do home improvement projects, so now I have no excuses. But then, she just gave it to me yesterday, so I have time.
Or maybe the last one is to get off the computer and DO something.
Oh and the not much money and too many destructive kids. Which actually hasn't stopped me much, but sometimes I wonder why I bother. Yeah, we're all beauty and bedlam here, like your friend Jen--and I have two fewer kids than she does!
P.S. Nester, you would be SO PROUD!! I was at work yesterday and there has been a little nail sticking out in the door jam into my office right at elbow height. I have snagged my sweaters/clothes SO many times by now it's not even funny. I had a co-worker walk in yesterday and she snagged a very nice sweater she was wearing. She said, "I wonder if there is a hammer around here somewhere?" With that I whipped off my high heel shoe, whacked the living day lights out of the door jam (and the nail), problem SOLVED!
So apparently it's no wonder my house is not how I want it. I pretty much fit all of the above! I should change my outlook!!! Thanks!
I just love these. They are so great! They are so true and easy to get stuck in if we let ourselves.
Decorate for others instead of for yourself.
Ha!Ha! and AMEN! I fell overwhelmed with all the things I need to do but trying to enjoy what is already done.
I'm taking it one room/project at a time!
i would add..not feeling confident and chic enough to pull something off you love..
allowing other people's inabilty to "get" somthing creative make you take it down..
and making the mistake of charging things on credit cards to make it "perfect" that never works..hard lesson to learn.
I am doing a great job doing all the right things to "avoid having a home I'll love!"
I m such a scaredy cat. I just cannot do it by myself. sigh
10. Never enlist the help of a kind and creative friend who would probably love to spend time with you on a fun, home-decorating project.
(Instead of meeting a girlfriend for coffee, meet her in her kitchen and mistreat a window together. Oh, and you can still have coffee. And dessert.)
Great list! I love your site because you prove all of those reasons wrong!
XOXOXOX
Jen
make everything beige... it's the safe color right?
Is beige even really a color? UCK!!!
love this - I totally tend to be paralyzed by it not being "perfect enough" but your site has been bringing lots of freedom my way recently - love it!!
Worrying about what other people will think. Who cares what they think? It's your house!
You are so wise. And it's all so very true.
Failing to rearrange furniture because we think it works best "just like this." Start moving sofas away from the walls, make a grouping, swith lamps in the bedroom with those in the living room...I think we forget to "shake things up" when shaking it up is free and emotionally rejeuventating! :-)
Great post. Truth, well spoken.
This is a brilliant list! I've been obsessing about a couple of projects and reading this was just what I needed. I would add...
Worry that it's never quite right.
I think the wanting your home to look like a magazine leads to a lot of other things like not starting and buying stuff you don't need.
Ugh, guilty, guilty, guilty! Except for the renting part. I need an intervention!
I have heard these things said wayyyy too many times. You are absolutely right. Excellent post.
THANK YOU for giving me the kick in the backside that I have been needing for a lonnggggggggg time :)!
10. Decorating/setting up your home to accomodate others instead of your family~ the people that actually live there!
Man--are you living in my brain. I suffer from 1-9...sadly
only one other I can think of...
#10. Worry about re-sale...as in "will my house sell if I paint the kitchen cabinets?"
Well said ,
I say to those whose husband are tired or uninspired , ladies take these projects on yourself , you want things done empower yourself already . If your husband is like mine , he works hard , has a long commute , works in his spare time , how can I add more tasks to his plate when I am the one who dreamed up the idea , I have learned to do it myself , you can too .
So very true. I would say that #10 would be something along the lines of worrying what friends/family/guests think of your decorating skills.
This is so true.
Please don't forget to stop by my page and enter my GiVe-AwAy♥
Such a great list! My husband is in the military, so one of my hurdles is making my home "mine" for the time we live there. Is it worth the work to put it back the way we found it when it is time to move (and we have so many other things to do at that time!). Another thing is keeping the stuff I bought in the 80s and 90s that I really don't want anymore, but feel guilty about getting rid of them because they are still in perfect condition. We have boxes full of pictures that I don't want anymore, but I feel bad because my husband spent his hard-earned money on them for me. But, they cost more to keep than they do to get rid of (in peace and space). So, perhaps this goes back to #9. So, would #10 be laziness? Too much work to bother? Perhaps.
Refusing to deal with the "clutter" and blaming others for the mess in your home.
Oh great, I finally get 9/10 on a quiz and it's not a good thing! Hmm....
that is awesome! my favorite is #9! and I also have ADD...I like too many styles and sometimes think I can't mix.
Wow! When I get a husband I hope he is an orphan because in-laws sure seem to damper creativity.
Waiting until you have plenty of $ to start anything...(if you do that with having kids you'll never have them either!)
Surprisingly it's more fun to do things on a shoe-string budget!
Robin Rane'
All Things Heart and Home
I so fit into all these categories. I'm new to your blog and I'm feeling quite inspired. The reality is that I have no idea how to do this but I'm willing to try.
Thanks for the inspiration.
Spend more time reading blogs about decorating and homemaking than actually getting up and doing something.
blink. blink.
What perfect timing! As I walked upstairs to my computer today, I asked myself, "How far do you have to go before you are just happy with your home and stop trying to live up to photographs in magazines?"
So, # 10 for me, forgetting to happy with what you do have
Fabulous post! I'd add my problem ..waiting until you move into your dream house to buy new things. You would think after living 32 years in the same house I'd have accepted it by now? LOL!
I've fallen victim to all of these from time to time. So much nicer now to remind myself that anything I do is a blessing to my home...not just the perfect stuff. Thanks for being a great reminder each day!
Love this post! I would add not having confidence to live with what you love just because it doesn't EXACTLY match. Well said!
wait on your husband to help :)
Oh, and keep something just because your Mother -in -law thinks it would be pretty in your home- that's what boxes are for..lol
I'm guilty of all of the above. Two more things that stop me: worrying what my husband will think (he in reality just wants good food, a place to sit, and a comfy bed with me in it!) and sitting at the computer looking at all the decorating blogs and ideas instead of getting up and doing something. If you do things, things get done! ;)
preach it sister!
Did you right #7 because of me? Because - until I moved the dresser into the closet last week, that was me. Now to tackle the clutter.
10. Keep as much stuff as you can.
Realizing that dust is a part of life. Especially with families, pets and LIFE! :)
sitting to long at the computer and cleaning up the home you love......that's what I need to do right now. A power 30 min pick up. Then I'll love my home again.
#10- Use the excuse I don't have the time. There's always time for things that are important to us. Even with the limited time I have I know I'm happier when I do something to improve the look of my home.
I don't know if someone already said this (SO many comments!), but I was afraid to put holes in my beautiful new home walls. I had always lived in homes that someone had lived in before me. They already had holes in them. I hammered up anything and everything I wanted to hang. But now, I had new, freshly painted, no-holes-in walls and I could NOT hang a thing until this year. Honestly. I have lived here for 6 years. I just started hanging things. And you know what it took for me? The death of my husband. Seriously. Then, I started hanging picture after picture and memento after memento. Still not junky at all, but it got me over the fear of nail holes REAL quick!
I think you covered it all! The treasures that I have in my home are those that tell stories. Pictures of my children, creations through the years, special purchases. :o)
And what matters the very most to me is that when someone is in my home, they feel at ease and welcome, I pray they feel like they would want to come back! :o)
Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne
Thank you for the great list! I've done many of these things. The biggest one of mine was not wanting to decorate a townhouse we rented because it was "temporary". Well we ended up living there for three years and I was miserable because it didn't feel like home. My fault I could've made it feel like home. Then I might not have minded being there longer than we'd planned.
Let me know how to get around #8! Actually, I do get around this one...my husband just always has a headache from the projects I'm working on!
I love this post. Ever since I stopped caring about what other people think, I have been in love with my house. And I actually get more compliments now, since I stopped playing it safe.
I'm still stuck on #9....
Love this. I'm forwarding to my mom-in-law who refuses to move out of the 80's in her decorating because it just can't find the perfect armoire, so she doesn't change anything. Drives me crazy! The mauve has got to go!
Afraid you will mess up trying to do a new thing so never do anything
Great post!
blessings
mary
These are so great!
I'm always loving the plates on the wall. Have you posted on how to do this? I don't understand how they are on the wall and what you use to get them there...loving the look of them!
Great getting a hug from you on Sunday!
MJ
HaHaHaHa!!! So True. I love it!
10. Allow clutter to rob you of the joys of simplicity. Sometimes the best thing you can do to "decorate" your home is to organize, make a haul to the dump and Goodwill, and enjoy just being clean.
What a great take on life! Your ten list is so true. It is amazing what a little fear and perfection can do (or should I say not do). Thaks for sharing this!
It's a TRIFECTA for me...1, 2, and 3. How did you know!!!!!!!!!!!
As always - great blog. Thanks for posting.
Never commented before, but have been following your blog for quite some time. I. Love. It. I'm inspired to redecorate -- in spite of having a five month old baby.
Keep up the good work!
beautiful! I love the plates above the door- I think I'll try it, my door def has needed something above it. I'll shoot you a pic! I love your attitide about life, decorating and easy living! Thanks for always being so willing to share!
I love this post! It is just what I needed to read! Thank you so much!
10. Have a husband who fights about absolutely everything you want to do to make your house a home. From pictures to mini blinds - I can't do a thing without a fight - even if a professional designer friend helps.
I just started doing it anyway so instead of both of us being miserable, he throws a fit and I am starting to love my home!
I will send my first mistreatment pic soon!
I did everything you mentioned and this is why it has taken me 6 years to decorate our house. I'm so happy I've found all these wonderful blogs because I'm finally decorating our house!
Sheryl
paint everything white because it's a "safe" color
LIVE in your home-it's not a museum.
Thanks for the great reminder of all that I do to sabatoge my having the comfy cozy space I'm draming of having. So glad I found your spot...wonderful!! Push past the fear and do it anyway...you've hit the nail on the proverbial head!!
I just found your blog and I love it! Thank you for this post. I recently moved into a new home which needs some cosmetic work and I sometimes feel overwhelmed and impatient that it doesn't yet reflect me. It's starting to feel more like home though and this is some great advice!
I think that just about says it all. Love all the comments.
I could not agree more. Awesome post.
I am soooo guilty of #7. :(
Oh, my....have you been eavesdropping around here??
So true! I am going to print out the list (hope that's okay) and paste it in the small notebook I carry in my purse that holds the paint samples of my rooms, lists of things I'm hoping to buy/find, measurements, etc. I will put it at the front of the notebook so that when I am feeling unsure or overwhelmed with our home it will give me inspiration. Thanks Nester!
This is a great list. I am guilty of a few as I believe we all are. Helping to see the issue helps us to begin the correction. Thanks for the list.
~ ~Ahrisha~ ~
I've been guilty of saying one or all of those in one day! Pitiful I know, but no more sister, I'm steppin' out and just gonna do what I gotta do! Thanks for the daily inspirations!
Good one! I was just at a client's home who told me over and over before going how 'horrible' it would be. I can't tell you how bad I was expecting it and it was SO far from that! She needs some updating but it was a huge house with a great layout with lots of potential! You are so right, she could love her house if she wanted to . . .
10. Get so overwhelmed that you don't even start! Patti
These are great! And, thank you so much for visiting my blog! :)
Hi!
I'm a newbie to your wonderful blog and LOVE IT!
We are in the process of buying our very first house and even the thought of having my own house to decorate (we haven't even found one we like yet!) is keeping me awake at night!
You would think the impending responsibility of a mortgage would do it, but noooo making somewhere new into our very first owned home is doing it :)
I can't wait to have a pocket of time to read back over some over your previous posts, and get lots of ideas of course!
Thanks for your post and inspiration and motivation.
xxx
i think every home needs some original art. big or small, professional or not. it makes you proud to honor someone's talent!
Oh my. Guilty on so many counts. What an eye-opener, Nester. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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